Relationships - Collateral Patterns II

Experimental Relationships

These relationships are just for trying out. In this relationship, a person who chooses his partners emotionally is made to choose partners who are extremely different than what he prefers. The motive of these experimental relationships is to find out the ways in which another person can be related to this person and what the relationship will become if this happens. These kinds of relationships help us in discovering new ways of interacting with each other, in ways we thought were not possible for us. It also helps in discovering those parts of one’s personality that are unknown to him and then nurturing them in order to develop them and grow. These relationships can be compared to dating which possess the quality of exploration and experimentation. The people involved in this relationship have an uncanny knack of striking a connection which clicks for the both of them and may even evolve further into a more dominant one. This type of relationship usually influences the choices of the person which help him in founding a suitable partner in the next relationship.

Avoidance Relationships

In avoidance relationships, the people involved try to protect themselves from falling in deep intimate relationships with the other person and do not want to share their entire feelings with them. This relationship also includes those people who have just come out of a relationship and have not gotten over the painful feelings of failure and loss of splitting. The people whose life is overshadowed with traumatic events like death of a near relative, partner or a close friend are also a part of the group of people belonging to this category. They fear that if they get very close to the new person, the painful experience will surface again. The people specially choose those partners with whom they do not have to share the deeper feelings and emotions which they want to avoid.

Another important feature of this relationship is that the partner may be someone who does not fit into the person’s remaining life. The partner will not have the same importance and compassion as the previous partner did. In such cases, more emphasis may be given to sex as a means of controlling the painful emotions. The beginnings and endings of these relationships are often immediate. There is a low chance of self disclosure and a high amount of mistrust.

Pastime Relationships

The pastime relationships are generally meant for fun and recreation. There are hardly any expectations although some people allow themselves to attach hope with these relationships. Summer romance is a good example of this kind of relationship. The pastime relationship is not a long term relationship and the circumstances create an even low probability of the relationship being an enduring one. Only expectations with this relationship are those of passion, tenderness and delight.